The ICU and family

At times, work in the ICU does take its toll. I can't seem to leave my patients and my screw ups at the workplace. More than once, after my 24 hour call, I call my friend who is on call the next day to find out about my patients.
At home, especially after a bad call when some of them turned bad or unexpectedly died, I tend to brood. My wife takes it the wrong way at times.
Our calls can be bad, I don't have the energy I used to possess. I sleep most of the day and bury myself in my books at night.
Six on calls. Six post calls when my family doesn't see much of me. That's close to half a month. Some days, I get stuck in a traffic jam an arrive home in the late evening.
I also try to hit the books whenever possible.
As a result my contribution at home is nothing to shout about. My son misses playing with me. My wife has to care for a problematic baby on her own most of the time. Her understanding and patience only go so far.
Being a gym rat and an outdoor freak doesn't help. I yearn for a trek in the jungle but I have to deny myself. It doesn't seem good to be spending what little free time I have away from the family. That leaves me a little frustrated.
I had a whole day free day today and it was a good day. Good family time.
Rare days like these make me think and count my blessings.
I had my fun in the past. I did many exciting and thrilling things. Many people will never get to do the things I did, many who try wont even survive! Those were good times.
I suppose there is a time and place for everything. Now I need to grit my teeth and go through these tough times. Once I am done with the major exam, there will be good times again, just like a close friend of my is enjoying now!
Tough times don't last, tough people do.